So Long, So Long
by wittyplayonwords
Summary: "I am determined. No matter how much it hurt. Not matter how many times he begged, I know that I have to do this."  Part II


Authors Note: This is the first piece of Scorpius/Rose that I've ever written. It's also the second part of a three part set of stories that I have written regarding the doomed couple.

Disclaimer: No, I'm not JKR and No, I'm not Dashboard Confessional. So there you go.

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_"And I will leave under the cover  
Of summers kiss upon the sky  
Like the stone face of your lover  
Just before she says goodbye"_

So long, So long

It has been raining all day. Funny how the weather should reflect my mood. Upset, crying, yet determined. Don't ask me how rain is determined. I'm not sure. But I know that I am determined. No matter how much it hurts. Not matter how many times he begs, I know that I have to do this.

I have to end it.

This stupid flight of fancy has been going on long enough. It wasn't right. He knew this. I knew this. If our parents ever discovered...

I sigh as I sit there in the Come and Go room, waiting for him. Today it had taken the form of an unused classroom. That's good. Class, school, normalcy. These things I could handle. There is nothing in this room that would ever make me want to continue this charade. No pillows, no candles, no soft sheets. Nothing alluring at all.

Good. That makes it easier.

There is a sharp rap on the door. I know that it is him, and I try to collect myself and my thoughts before I allow him to enter.

"Come in." My voice is shaking. I hate that. I wish I could be strong about it.

"I nearly had to walk around the school three extra times to get rid of Dylan, but I finally managed. Sorry I'm late." He walks up to me with a cute smirk on his face, and kisses my stiff cheek.

"What's wrong?" He asks concerned. Damn him. It'd be far simpler if he was just a monstrous bastard who didn't care about me. "Rosie?" His gray eyes penetrate my own.

I turn away, unable to look into his sincerity any longer. I have to get this over and done with. I can hate myself later.

"This has to end." Even I can hear the tremor in my whisper. "I can't do this anymore."

"What are you talking about?" He sounds confused. He probably is. He doesn't think there is anything wrong with this game we play. He thinks we are happy.

I think so too.

But that can never be known.

With a gesture that breaks my heart into a million pieces, I turn my back to him. "Hugo knows, which means Lily will know soon, if she doesn't already. And I'll never be able to understand how we kept this from Albus." Shit. The tears are starting. "It was fun while it lasted but now it needs to end. I'm sorry." _'Please just agree with me'_ I plead to him telepathically.

"Is that why you are doing this?" He sounds slightly angry now. Not good. "Because of your brother? What about me?" He sounds mostly hurt now. And before I know what's happening he's spun me around to face him. His beautiful blonde hair glowing in the pale light streaming in through the rain soaked window.

"I'm sorry." I repeat. God this hurts.

"You don't mean this." Denial now.

"I do. It needs to stop." I'm openly crying now, and I don't like it. I never cry in front of boys. Except Dad and Hugo, but they hardly count.

"Why?" He has tears in his beautiful eyes now. "I've told you already Rose, I don't care what your family, or mine says. I want to be with you." He was still holding on to my arms. Not to the point of pain, but just tight enough so I understand how much he wants me. Wants me to stay, wants me to understand.

I can't.

"I know. I know." I sigh. Why can't he understand? "But I can't be without my family." I wrench myself from his grip. Tears still carving tracks down my face. It's time to be strong now. "I'm sorry." I repeat again, taking one, two, three steps away from him. Six more steps to the door, six mere steps until he is out of my life.

"Rosie, please don't do this. You don't mean it." He states matter-of-factly, two tears escaping his eyes.

"I do." Lying's easier. One more step. Five to go.

"No." He says as if it's as simple as that. I hear him move before I realize it, and the next thing I know his full lips were on mine.

It's like floating, it's comforting and feels right. But at the same time, I know it's wrong. We can never have more than stolen moments in the dark corners of school. We can't have a future. We can never have daylight.

It's this thought that brings me to break away from him.

"Scorpius." I breathe. There is a pause, as I gather my breath, and my traitorous hands run up and down his strong arms. "Don't." A simple word. A simple notion. "Don't." I repeat. I know he hears the rest. _'Don't make this harder.'_ I take a step back and his warm hands slide from my waist, to fall uselessly at his side. His eyes look dead now.

I hate that I caused the light to go out.

Shaking my head, at my foolishness or his, I know not. I turn to face the door.

"I love you Rose." He says no higher than a whisper, but he knows I can hear him.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I block out his soft words, and memories of soft hands, and murmured promises. Tears falling again I shake my head and take a step.

"Do you love me?" He asks, pain etched in his voice. "Do you?" Demanding now.

My heart screams _'Yes! A thousand times yes! And I always will.'_ My head answers. "I can't."

Quickly crossing the last three steps to the door, I reach for the handle and whisper. "Goodbye love."

I know he hears me. I know he knows my heart is breaking. I know his is to.

But it's the only way.

Hopefully one day he'll understand.

But I know that a single corner in my broken heart will never give up hope. A fool's hope.

But that's all it'll ever be.

_Fin_

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A.N.2: Depressing? Yes. Fun to write? Absolutely. I hope you liked it. And even if you hated it I'd like to know.


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